Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Just once, I would love to be proven wrong!

Last night I decided to meet someone...a guy, just for myself and outside of work. Occasionally, yes, I do this and it seems like every time I do, it is the same fucking guy but only with a different face. I can say indeed, I was open to meeting a strange guy, having a drink or 2 and then going back to his place for some NSA wild sex...and without charging. But truth be hold, every man I meet under these circumstances proves me right every time.

Some may not understand the realness behind being a whore. The actual connection, although brief as it may be, behind a paid for encounter. I have met some of the most beautiful men, beautiful souls, and been flattered beyond belief by them. My theory being that, people (but mostly men) place a value on things that they pay for. They see it as an investment and when the investment has a guarantee behind it, the men tend to put forth the effort to be themselves, attentive, seductive, and warm. They want to get the most out of what they pay for....they know they could just stick it somewhere quickly and for free...but in the end...what is there in that? While the contrary is inevitable with a man seeking free sex. He is arrogant and feels he is God's gift to women and that women are merely there to satiate him. Why is this?

When sex is paid for, you tend to get exactly what it is you desire and usually a bit more. The boundaries are clear, intentions are expressed, and the sensuality is left in its extreme form for the duration of the encounter. The participants part ways without any strange feelings of, will I see him again or in most cases, what the fuck did I do? The time spent together has clarity, emotion, and intensity that both partake in together with set function and rationality. But when the sex is free or the intent of sex is free, men tend to treat the female part more like a slut a piece of meat only there for him and his needs...... more than the gentleman paying for an actual whore.

After spending several hours having conversation with this egotistical typical male, we both realized that it would go no further. Although he was good looking enough and could hold a decent conversation, it was dead in the water for this evening. We had talked about many personal things and I no longer was this person he could take home and just take advantage of. It seemed to have the potential to develop into a friendship and maybe with benefits. He never tried to kiss me or touch me and that was a plus in my book. But in the end, when we said goodbye, I went to kiss him to let him know, that there was an amount of interest to possibly meet again and see where it would go. He pushed me away and said, I am not feeling it this evening, but would like to see me again in the future. I agreed! Then he went and fucked it up by saying...."maybe I could meet you in the park and you can give me one of your great blow jobs and I would even talk to you afterwards."

On so many levels...........REALLY!


On my walk home, I realized more about myself. I realized that men, as much as they love the idea of having a girlfriend who can be their personal whore, I will only ever have the respect of a girlfriend, when I am being paid for it. I also realized, that I have someone in my life that I care copious amounts for. I see my heart beginning to open more and more and with this I become ever more fearful. Last night when I went out on this date, I went on this date to try and rid myself of this feeling I have for someone and that maybe by doing it, I  only conjured up more pain and fear within myself.....assured disappointment.

To the man I spent last night.....thank you for not allowing me to lessen my worth!

10 comments:

  1. When a man is charming a girl (aka "making friend"), his main (unofficial) goal is to have sex with her. While the sexual relation occurs, the woman thinks she has a boy friend, who indeed only thinks he has reached his target (and would look for the next one). That is why men and women can't be friends (cf. "When Harry met Sally").
    On the other hand, when a man pays for a sexual relation, this consideration is not interferring in the relationship.
    THis is not contracting your point. I would say just giving a complementary view. However, how can it be possible that this rule is true ? Future will tell you... or not. Let's see.
    What else George ?

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    1. The point is though...I would think if a man were "charming" a woman for this "unofficial" intent, he would at least pretend to be charming!

      As a woman and as myself...I do not go into sexual or any other relation thinking...I will get a boyfriend out of this. However, I am analyzing that possibility. But I find more times than not, that I must only make do with only 2 possibilities. 1 I tell him kindly to fuck off or 2 I have sex with him because he is so assured in his abilities, I give it a go without any preconceived notions of ever seeing him again!

      When I choose option 2 The outcome is a 80/20 result. 20% are so amazing in bed and their character seems to change during the throws of lust and I see him better and I reconsider at least seeing him again. But for the 80%... I leave the experience feeling unfulfilled and my initial analysis of the bloke was correct and he did not improve on physicality. Then I wish I really would have charged him!

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    2. Brilliant and right answer (like to other posts). I love it. That's cool.

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  2. This is a brilliant insight. I only paid for sex one time. It was on a business trip. I saw her ad on Craigs List and called her. She sounded like fun. She was so great. Pleasant, fun, funny, relaxed and very sensual. It was really great experience. Lots of fun and we both ended our couple of hours with laughs and a smile. If I had picked her up in a bar, it would have been no where near as relaxed and fun.

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    1. I agree and I am glad to hear from a mans experience. I think it goes two ways....at least for me... I will never take a client, when I do not want to. I feel, that if a man wants to pay for me, he should and I for that matter, should have best experience possible. For me it is good customer service. I do not take what I do lightly, it is imperative to have fun! But I think when sex happens, like after a club or bar meet...we tend not to have that value.

      In both scenarios, you have no intention of seeing the other person again. So for the man to perform with greatness is not there, he will get off regardless. But when he pays for it, there is an investment and why would he just fuck like a lame duck...he wants the most for his money....and this changes the game! i say...win win!

      Thank you for sharing your story and for reading. I do hope to hear more responses from you in the future!

      kisses

      Aimmee

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  3. the closure to that date. just wow. the park? seriously? There are messed up people, and then this guy. So sorry to hear that. I can relate to your frustration level.

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    1. this man is an unbelievable pig. I usually prefer honesty in everything...however in this case I would have preferred to be manipulated into thinking...sleeping with this guy would have rocked my world! But....everything happens for a reason!

      kisses

      Aimmee

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  4. clearly I dont understand what is going wrong with this guy. well.
    as well as I don't understand why you consider to become friends (with or without benefits) with someone that you call a egoistical person before. or is that already assuming the end of the story? however: you are dating the wrong guys obviously, you should work on your casting criteria maybe :) PS: love to read your stuff, really nice!

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    1. Well you are absolutely right in saying I need to work on my casting criteria. FOR SURE!

      But this has been an ongoing theme in my life. Surely this situation, with meeting this douche bag, to find someone other than Mr. Strange to fuck, clearly was not enough.

      Seriously though, most men that I have met, happen to know what I do. They think, oh she is a whore and this will be easy. hahah On the contrary. I will meet men if they ask and I feel like it. But, as I sit with them and talk, my casting criteria is a vivid checklist in my mind. If I were a comic book..the list would be seen in a bubble over my head!

      I have a highly sensitized perception when it comes to men. Being on chats and porn sites and constantly being addressed with baby, wanna chat, wanna see my cock, do you want a cum tribute, what are you wearing, wanna talk dirty..etc...if the man I am spending time out with in hopes of having a sexual relation with even supposes anything in this direction...if he feels he can talk to me this way, it is a no go. Basically, if I feel at any moment during our date, that he feels he is the proud reaper of free sexual benefits with a whore...it is a no go.

      Usually though, I will meet someone a few times and as long as he is respectful of me, has equally interest and care about what I do, can seek out the other layers of me (there are many), he will have a chance.

      Should I post here and write about what kind of man makes me hot and what kind of man I would seek as a lover?

      Thanks for reading and please keep it up and respond!

      kisses

      Aimmee

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  5. Well to sum it up simply....I have always dated the wrong guys...thus being a whore and at least getting paid for my time! But seriously, doing what I do, the men I meet this way are 100x better than the ones I meet in real life. I think it is written somewhere on my head to not take me seriously, or to disrespect me, or in general not to appreciate me. It sucks and for real life...it is a very lonely existence...but when I am working...I feel hole somehow! Valued, appreciated, and respected!

    I am glad you like what you read and hope you continue to do so!

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